Babeland Review: Pirates Pendant Vibe

I have moved sites. Click here to read my Pirates Pendant Vibe review for Babeland at elodieonlove.com.

You can have Johnny Depp. My favorite pirate is Kevin Kline in Gilbert and Sullivan's The Pirates of Penzance. I hoped that the Pirates Pendant Vibe which Babeland sent me to review would make me feel like a Pirate Queen. Alas, it was not to be, and I ended up feeling more like a female Frederic.

 The Pirates Pendant Vibe is a merchandising tie-in with the popular series of Pirates movies. It's 2 1/4 inches in length and 3/4 inches in width, with a pointed tip for pinpoint stimulation, and runs on three watch batteries. This vibe is made of ABS Plastic, which is phthalate-free and easy to care for. Since it's splashproof, you can wash it with soap and water, and the plastic can be disinfected with a 10% bleach solution. The box claims the vibe is velvety, but the shiny versions, like my silver one, have a hard plastic texture. Skulls, crossbones, and other raised images decorate the vibe, but don't add much to stimulation. I only use the Pirates Pendant Vibe clitorally; it's too small to do anything for me vaginally.

The vibrator has 5 patterns, controlled by a pushbutton at the top through which a necklace chain runs. The vibrations are as follows:
1) Very light continual buzz. It's good for teasing, but not much else.
2) Stronger continual buzz. I wasn't able to use it for long because it hurt me, but that doesn't mean it's hugely strong. Super-fast surface vibes always cause me pain.
3) Evenly spaced medium-strength buzz. It nearly matches the beat of Pink's Stupid Girls. This is my favorite.
4) Fast, evenly spaced medium-strength buzz. I switch to this one to finish the job.
5) Jingle Bells. Buzz-buzz-BUZZZZ-buzz-buzz-BUZZZZ. It feels nice enough, and would probably feel better if it didn't make me think of a one-horse open sleigh.

I like that this vibrator has multiple patterns, but here's the problem: it doesn't always get me off. And if it doesn't always get me off, there is no way I can recommend it to get anyone else off. I almost never have problems orgasming -- my hand is plenty. As a pleasurable teaser, the Pirates Pendant Vibe works. But you can get way more vibe for the same price or less.

Still, the point of this toy isn't just that it's a vibrator, it's that it's a vibrator that's also a necklace, right? That depends on your taste in jewelry, and your willingness to have people realize you're wearing a vibrator around your neck. Plenty of people will think you're wearing a large, strangely-shaped pendant, but others will be able to tell you've got a bullet vibrator between your breasts. There are also black letters and symbols printed on the top of the vibe; someone would have to get close to you to see these, but for me, knowing they're there kills any desire I might have had to wear this as jewelry.

The Pirates Pendant Vibe feels good, though not amazing, and if you're a fan of the two Pirates movies, it would make a fun keepsake. Unfortunately, since it's not waterproof, you'll have to buckle your swash on dry land like some landlubber. And if you're really sensitive, more sensitive than me, which takes a lot, then perhaps this vibe could be just what you're looking for.

As for me, I'll be searching for my yo-ho-ho and a bottle of rum elsewhere.




Thank you, Babeland, for sending me this vibe to review. Visit them for their many awesome adult products, including a large selection of discreet vibrators. While you're there, check out Babeland's Goodie Bags, filled with essentials like lube and condoms. Until the end of 2010, for every Goodie Bag purchased, Babeland will donate $2 to a GLBT cause.