MOVING

I'm in the process of moving everything to my new blog: http://elodieonlove.com/. All my posts have been copied over, and that's where all my new posts will be, so find me there!

Last night

My fiance and I had vanilla sex for once. I asked for the light to be turned off (again, for once), and he turned it off. Our room became totally dark.

He then said, "I can't see anything. This is somewhat difficult."

I replied, "is it that bad? I like it, we can just concentrate on how we feel."

He didn't say anything to that, but he seemed to agree with me. After a bit, he said, "one of these people has been replaced with Folger's Crystals. Can you tell which?"

This is why I'm keeping him.

Please Find or Make Me This Porn

I've changed sites. Click here to read this post on elodieonlove.com.

I need a porn, consisting of one woman and one man (so I can pretend to be the woman) in which:

1) The people are really and truly enjoying themselves.
2) The woman receives at least as much oral sex as the man. I love dicks, but I'm sick of them being the sexual focus of everything. 
2a) No choking on dicks. I keep thinking the woman is going to puke -- not something I find sexy. At all.
3) No anal, and definitely no rimming, it grosses me out. Nothing wrong with it, but it's not my thing.
4) No fisting, it scares the bejeezus out of me. Again, nothing wrong with it, but it's not my thing.
5) The man's penis isn't the size of an oboe. If I want to fantasize about being the woman in the scene, I do NOT want to be distracted by imagining an 8-inch dick going into me. Massive, massive turn-off.
6) I'd like to be able to hear what they're actually saying, and I'd like it not to be "fuck" every second word.

Multi-Position Beaded Silk Rope Review for Vibrator.com

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Pink Medium Rubber Whip Review for Babeland Toys

I have moved sites. Click here to read this review at elodieonlove.com.

K and I aren't experts when it comes to flogging. The Pink Medium Rubber Whip that Babeland sent me to review is only our third flogger. I worried that the pink color would detract from the experience when K wielded it, though he doesn't care a bit. As gender-savvy as I like to think I am, I still subconsciously associate pink with girliness, and girliness with weakness. I know. I deserve a flogging for that.

Happily, my fears proved unfounded. While this flogger is nearly painless when used with a light touch, when used with force it stings enough to make me forget about the color entirely. It's not an immediate "pay attention!" sting, but a gradual, building one. You know how there are different kinds of spiciness in food? One kind burns your mouth as soon as you take a bite. Another seems mild; you're thinking "this isn't that spicy," and munching away happily, but eventually you realize you've had a gallon of iced tea, and you're going to need at least another gallon before you're through with the meal, and the back of your throat is on fire, and it's glorious. That's what the Pink Medium Rubber Whip is like. It's almost too easy to take... until it isn't.  

This flogger isn't perfect. Its falls sometimes seem to have minds of their own, making it occasionally annoying to control. Also, anyone with sensitivities to latex or rubber should avoid it. For advanced SM enthusiasts, it probably won't be more than a warm-up flogger; even I sometimes find myself wanting more. However, it would make an excellent beginning flogger for anyone who doesn't want to avoid pain altogether, since it can create a light to moderate sting.

One last thing: this flogger is a great cat toy. We may have to get a locking box just for it, because Marzipan can dig it out of the drawer. (And yes, our kitties were disciplining that stuffed wolf on the bed.) 

We enjoy the Pink Medium Rubber Whip, and I think we'll be using it for a long time to come. If our cats don't steal it from us.

Thanks, Babeland, for sending me the Pink Medium Rubber Whip to review. Check out the BDSM and other sex toys at this feminist, sex-positive store. 

Beautiful Blogger? All right then!

I'm super flattered that Juliettia (who likes sex and video games, which proves she is awesome) passed on this "beautiful blogger" award to me.

 The rules of the game are:

1. Give this award to 3 other persons.
2. Name 7 things your readers may not know about you.

1) PinkSexGeek, Gardenvy, and OutspokenClitic, I choose you.

As for 7 things readers may not know about me:

1) I am the least photogenic person ever. Something about cameras and being 2-dimensionalized makes me look awkward and weird.
2) I got a bad case of H1N1 (aka manbirdpig flu) last year, from which I got an infection that I still haven't been able to shake. Yay!
3) I write fiction. I haven't been paid to publish any of it yet, but I will be someday. YES I WILL.
4) I like video games, particularly RPGs. I have massive crushes on Alistair from Dragon Age and Akihiko from Persona 3.
5) I met my fiance on a forum for a computer game.
6) I've never met anyone who loves chocolate as much as I do.
7) Overall, I'm pretty happy with how my body looks. I just wish it wouldn't get sick so much.

Coming to terms with BDSM

I've changed sites. Click here to read this post at elodieonlove.com.

The other day I was talking about sexuality, BDSM in particular, with someone who was pretty freaked out about it. She voiced a common opinion: "I guess it's okay so long as it's consensual, but liking pain can't be healthy." She meant "healthy" psychologically.

I've discovered rather recently that I myself like pain in a controlled, loving, sexual context. I answered, "it's not really unhealthy," then bit my tongue and changed the subject, trying not to feel like there was something wrong with me. Obviously wanting so much pain that you have to be seriously harmed to be satisfied is, by its definition, not healthy, because it causes physical damage. But a good spanking or flogging or etc. doesn't cause harm.

This all supposes enthusiastic consent, of course. Actually, "consent" isn't strong enough -- the term "participation" might be better. A common worry among those who don't "get" BDSM is that BDSM is really abuse. The Lesbian Sex Mafia defined the difference between abuse and BDSM concisely here.

As the (most of the time) submissive, (moderately) masochistic partner in my relationship, I love the feeling of yielding control. However, at the same time, I have never felt my boundaries were as respected as they are now; I have never felt as honest with a partner, or that he was as honest with me; I have never felt so safe. Everything is clear, out in the open, lines are drawn, safewords are obeyed without question or hesitation. We are in as far from an abusive relationship as I can imagine.

Maybe I was born liking pain the way I was born liking chocolate. It's a physical reaction, and one that I do my best not to feel shame over.